This site is dedicated to my ever loving bratty children, my tolerant husband and well to my friends who support me in so many ways even when we don't speak for years. Cheers - to the beautiful and not so beautiful passings in our lives. In other words - those moments when life is painful and all you can do is laugh until you cry (or pee)!

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Scenic PO'd Car Ride and Scary Neighbors

Well, Ron and I got up early this morning (12:30 in the afternoon) and decided that since we didn't have the kids we would go for a scenic drive...... It was scenic all right!

It is easy to take in the scenery when your car is having a bad day and refusing to go more than 10mph up hill.... Yes folks, we were those awful people going up a mountain road that your grandma flips off for going too slow....

Imagine - we are driving our TURBO volvo on a two lane road going 10mph...... Of course maybe since the car has misbehaved we could change the word TURBO on the back of the car to TURDO......

I love my car dearly and apparently it want another sensor - the problem is the throttle position sensor....... The strangest part of this problem is that the car has alzheimers and forgets about its wounded sensor until we are on a two lane road in the mountains...... The check engine light goes off when you restart the car.........

We were at least wishing we had blue colored wigs so that people could try to understand that we were old, but we didn't... So we lit another cigarette in hopes that the car would look like Cheech and Chong - at least then people would see all the smoke coming out and think we were high, which is far better than being thought that you are super old or just an asshole......

Anyway - the car shaped up and we drove to a beautiful scenic area to go over a pass that is closed for 2 weeks (Yet again another National Lampoons moment)... We turned around and had a nice picnic next to a beaver pond...

We got home and some lady and her kid came to the door, I could vaguely recall her face and she informed me that she came by a couple of years ago on Halloween (I am thinking - DUH, that's what people do on Halloween). She informs me that she has come by my house a couple of times and we were not home and she sees us out front a lot and wanted to invite us over for s'mores.

After she leaves Ron and I decide that we are uncomfortable with our new stalker friend and wish not to go eat what might be poisened s'mores from the strange lady with the wandering eye down the block..... but we need a cover story as to why we couldn't make it since after all........she might be watching.

We decide to go have pizza to make the story plausible that we had to go somewhere. Although I half expected to find this woman and her demon child on the front porch when I got home, we were safe - ran into the house, turned off the lights, closed the curtains and hid...........

Yes we might be paranoid but we don't like new people, that's why we keep the same friends we had when we were 20 (OH...... and because they are cool).

2 comments:

Scylla said...

I miss you! This post made me laugh until I tears ran down my face. And I AM cool darnit!! (As are you!)

ellen said...

Dude, I am way cooler at 31 than I was at 20! :)

How come you always get the lemon car?