This site is dedicated to my ever loving bratty children, my tolerant husband and well to my friends who support me in so many ways even when we don't speak for years. Cheers - to the beautiful and not so beautiful passings in our lives. In other words - those moments when life is painful and all you can do is laugh until you cry (or pee)!

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Teenage Successes and Sleepovers

So I am SOOO proud of Mallory - she got great grades on her progress report, she only had one incident that set off the camera and she got a job at JC Penny (making $7.75 an hour which is pretty good) which is showing her how a corporation is run (vs. the crappy Melt store). She even made it home by curfew...... We are shocked by the changes we have seen in her and given her so many kuddo's for doing well she is getting angry and telling us to "shut up". I am starting to wonder if we are good parents after all??

I had a tough Mommy moment when we were at Goodwill and she wanted to buy an end table to begin buying things for when she moves out....... UGH!! Don't blink ladies - before you know it those cute little babies grow up and leave to become individuals....

Amber had her 2nd sleepover EVER - She was so excited and overstimulated it was nearly impossible to keep her from hyperventilating.... She was also invited to go to a Rockies game with a friend and her parents... Apparently the social "Training" that she is learning in her special education class is working. She has also started using words such as: amazing, neat and fabulous instead of: stupid, sucky and dumb...

I have been a real mess, my back, neck, jaw, hips and knee have been hurting so bad, I drove to the chriropractor office and sat in the waiting room, threatening to sleep there if I needed to because I needed to be seen. I haven't been there in 4 years.

If you all remember when I was addicted to the pain meds after the accident in 1999, I was a total skeptic about chriropractic until he "fixed" me in 3 months and I haven't been back or taken the pills since... I called Ron after my appointment and jokingly told him that I was in love with another man - and running away with the chriropractor!! He laughed...

Anyway - We survived another week!! Looking forward to another one as good as this one!

See you all later.


Monday, September 24, 2007


OK so here is why I haven't posted in a few days, there hasn't been anything funny or happy... But I realized that with most of you being my friends, I can occasionally post the depressing too...

Thursday September 20:
Mallory calls herself into school (1st period) and says she is me - She used "Constance Sanders" not knowing that when I call her in, I call myself "Coni Nelson", so she was going to be suspended for 1 day until I chewed out the principle for giving a kid that was skipping a class MORE time outside of class, so she has detention after school for 2 days and the loss of her cell phone and car for the weekend - which I will later explain got her FIRED from her job.

Friday September 21:
The filming crew got to my house about 10am to film us on the day of the opening of the Columbine Memorial, it is hard to feel happy and sad all at the same time...... Anyway, Mallory said something profound on camera and I wanted to share; she commented that "Dave was in the right place at the right time" - she used to say "Dave was in the wrong place at the wrong time" but now accepting that he saved many people by doing what he did, healing and time have changed Mallory's perception, that is AWESOME.

11am - we go to the memorial opening for families only to give us an opportunity to look at the memorial site before the public and the media. I see my mom there, her eyes only about 1/4 of the way open and stumbling - SHE IS HIGH ON SOMETHING AT THE DAMN DEDICATION..... What a selfish bitch!!! We do our best to ignore her and she eventually disappears...... we are thankful that there are not cameras to see her disgusting display of addiction.

4pm - the dedication ceremony begins and it is beautiful, sad and exciting - many people showed up for this since it is one of the few "happy" occasions connected to Columbine because now the tour buses will start going to the memorial and NOT to Columbine high school. During this whole ceremony we were all relieved that my mother was nowhere in sight. In addition I lost track of Mallory and because I took away her cell phone, I had to go and find her in a crowd of 5000 people. If you are interested in seeing any of the news coverage and photos - here are some links:

7pm - My grandmother calls to ask if I have seen my mother, they live with her and were worried because she had been gone all day which is unlike my mother. I knew - she was out stoned, drunk and probably driving - she is not picking up her cell phone. So I start calling emergency rooms, no luck. Finally my sister reaches her on her cell phone and my mother is at the Casinos up in the mountains DRUNK and high on some prescription drugs she probably took from my grandparents... She says she will be home soon.

8pm - Cindy (My sister) and I go to her house to confront her about leaving her at risk parents home alone without calling OH and driving while intoxicated. I call the Colorado State Patrol and give them a description of her car and tell them she is intoxicated - they say they need an exact location of where she is driving to catch her - Yes, I was trying to get my mother caught.

9pm - Mom shows up at the house obviously wasted saying that she "only had some whit zinbenthels (I am guessing that is white zinvendel in drunk speak). I ask her how she is going to feel if she kills someone drinking and driving and her response was (in a very cute, sweet voice) "Like anyone would feel if they killed somebody I guess..... I would face the consequences just fine". When asked why she was drinking and driving her response was "Because I wanted to". I lost it - told her to F*** off and go to hell (In front of my grandmother) and I left. Only a short time later my sister Cindy calls to say that mom is violent and is trying to choke her, I told her to call 911.... Cindy calls and I return to my mothers house to meet with the police only to discover that my grandmother has her cane outside the door telling the police they cannot come inside. Cindy and I leave and mom is threatening (and packing a bag) to leave again. The police take down her license plate number and the story goes on....

Saturday September 23: At noon Mallory asks if she can get a phone number from her cell phone which she is grounded from. She sees a strange text message from her boss at the Melt store asking if she will be coming into work on Satruday at 4pm - OF COURSE SHE WILL, she is scheduled.... So she calls him back and he says that because she didn't call back right away to confirm that she will be working her scheduled shift, she is FIRED.... This guy is the epitomy of an asshole. He has displayed control issues and terrible management skills to the girls in the store and tells them they are doing terrible but can't explain what they are doing that is SO terrible... He is a 22 year old idiot and Ron and I are happy she is no longer subjected to his horrible influence. However, Mallory is devastated - she worked hard, liked her job and was selling more than he was - which is why he probably fired her.

Sunday September 24: Mallory picks herself up and we go to the mall to pick up applications (in part to help her feel less discouraged). As she is filling out an application at JC Penny a manager walks up and asks her to come in for an interview.... YEAH, we want her to be at a big company where the managers are actually trained, the schedule is flexible and she can get a discount on items she can actually use. She GOT THE JOB and has orientation on Tuesday (After detention for calling herself in to class last week). Although her old boss from the Melt store keeps calling her to tell her how terrible she is, Ron, Mallory and I are writing a letter to the owners of the Melt store to let them know just how untrained and inapproprite this guy is...

Anyway I will blog with pictures of Ron and I's day away in the mountains tonight - along with pictures of my cutie-pa-tootie Amber with braces.

Love you all - sorry this post is not very fun......

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Braces and Doggy Dermatologists

So Amber got braces to fix her underbite and they didn't have to gas her to do it. She squirmed and bit, but they are on... She is such a trooper, they decided to wait until the braces were on to tell her that she can no longer:

Eat gum
Chew candy
Eat Soda
Drink high sugar foods

I will post a picture of miss cutie tonight on the blog....

I had to take my dog Scrappy (Scratchy) to the doggie dermatologist today - they wanted me to spend $600 to confirm that my damn dog is allergic to grass - apparently the fact that we don't have any living grass in the backyard doesn't matter. In the end I spent $200 for pills he has to take to make his fur stop flaking off and make him quit eating his paws for dinner because they itch.

They vet gave me a strange look when he asked if Scrappy has normal urine output and I responded "Yes he does, he can pee on the couch, the fridge and his companion Grizzy multiple times per day."

Anyway - the ugliest, dumbest dog on earth now needs medication and lots of attention... we did however turn down the vet's offer to put braces on him to straighten his teeth....... GOOD GOD - HE'S A DOG!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Dead Hamsters (For real this time AND more than one)

Ron and I went 4-wheeling on Saturday and left Mallory a list of chores since she is grounded for the weekend - WHY? - Because the camera in her car registered a 3rd passenger while she ran a red light and having a third passenger is against the law (OH - and running the red light too)... We asked her to clean her hamster cages and clean the cat box while we were gone.

We had a fantastic time 4-wheeling until we called home Saturday evening to hear Mallory crying in hysterics. She exclaimed "I KILLED MY HAMSTERS". She has had one of the hamsters "Chubbs" for over 2 years and she played with him all the time, the other hamster "Honey" was meaner than shit but we bought her when Mallory thought that Chubbs had been eaten by the cat (See previous posts).

She went outside to clean the cages and put one hamster in the play-pen (A hamster size fence that you can put on any surface) and put Chubbs in his ball. She got the cages clean and went to get the hamsters from outside; Chubbs was in his ball DEAD, it was very hot outside so we are guessing he died of heat-stroke. Mallory went to get Honey from the playpen and he was gone - only to be found in the dog cage with a shih-tzu eating him.....

So - like any mother when Ron and I got home we took her to Petsmart and bought her a new hamster...

Mallory put both dead hamsters in a shoe box and is insistent that we bury them in the backyard, although I am not too cool with that idea since I still have nightmares from the movie pet cemetary and we have multiple animals that will enjoy a "dug up" midnight snack... I am sure that if we bury them in the backyard it will NOT be the last we see of Chubbs and Honey - may they rest in peace!?!?!?!?

What is there to look forward to in future posts? Amber getting her braces on Friday and adventures of the creepy dead hamsters re-appearing in the backyard....