This site is dedicated to my ever loving bratty children, my tolerant husband and well to my friends who support me in so many ways even when we don't speak for years. Cheers - to the beautiful and not so beautiful passings in our lives. In other words - those moments when life is painful and all you can do is laugh until you cry (or pee)!

Saturday, December 22, 2007

BUSY, BUSY, BUSY - oh Happy Freakin Holidays

Well, my bay window is broken but no worries, we have free replacement - it will be here the end of January...

I have completed my shopping through hell and back but none of the gifts caught fire (yet).

Ron is doing his shopping early this year (today). He is 2 days earlier than usual.

Mallory is doing well - of course murphy's law, the rack and pinion on her car broke so we are sharing the Volvo - of course the Volvo is a turbo and doesn't have a camera in it so god only knows what she is doing in my car.

I took Amber to the psychiatrist and par for the course - she acted psychotic (she does this when she is nervous). We have had instances where she crawls on the floor, rolls around, screams in terror and loses all control... although it is embarrassing sometimes, I know she has an illness and at times can't help it. Anyway - she barked (literally) at the psychiatrist and rolled on the floor.

I also took her to the store the other day and it was crowded, Amber was standing in the middle of the store shaking wildly and screaming in terror, people were running up to her to find out what was wrong; she forgot where I was and lost it.

The psychiatrist has removed her bi-polar diagnoses given that she is acting less depressed and more psychotic (but only when she is anxious). So he put her on a medication for anxiety in hopes of calming her at school (and everywhere else) when she gets anxious and out of control. The medication is making her tired but she should get used to it before she returns to school on January 8th. We love her so much, we just need to stop her barking in public...

GREAT NEWS - I have an interview for an internship January 3rd at Parker, Froyd and Associates to do my internship in Forensic Psychology. I am REALLY looking forward to it. They do Psychological evaluations, work with police when an officer is struggling or when there is an officer involved shooting. They have a quick response team that dispatches (via the police dept) when there is a crime with victims. They also treat Domestic Violence Perpetrators, victims and children. In addition, I will still get to do Grief work with them...

Love you all - Happy holidays and for those of you expecting a christmas card, as usual you may get them in June.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Random Pictures

Memories of our Last Colorado Winter - yes there were 2 cars in the driveway

This picture is just amazing - Mallory took it at the Botanic Gardens last spring.

This is our stubborn but cute cat, with amazing vocal talents - Punkin...

This is something that is hard to look at - my daughter in a wedding veil and AC/DC pants - good Lord, when she does get married, this will probably be her attire of choice.... Yikes - she a little weird, but we love her anyway!

I thought it might be fun to post some pictures that have just been sitting in my camera..........

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Life at 100mph

We put up our christmas decorations! They look great!!

This is Ron's office converted into Tylers room

This is now my bedroom, yes the dresser is turned sideways to allow us an alleyway into the bedroom, Ron's desk is behind the dresser.

Well, here it is as far as our life goes:

Amber is trying her absolute hardest to repeat 4th grade (Maybe because she likes 4th grade). We are working on a school program for her, but wow is she being a tough cookie. Her strength is persistence...

Mallory is doing VERY well in school so far this year - we are so proud of her, she also hasn't gotten any more tickets and successfully completed her probation (every parents dream - right?).

Tyler is a joy - he does his chores, his laundry, his homework and he is doing well with his job at King Soopers, he is polite and listens and makes my kids look like devils...

Ron is adjusting to having his office in the bedroom - this has not been easy for either of us, but he is taking it like a man...

Me - well, work, work, work and looking forward to seeing my gal pals from Qwest in a couple of weeks!! I have been busy getting ready for christmas which has been a chore since we are short on money (thanks to my job, having another kid and Ambers braces), so I am making gifts this year - I actually did pretty well at it (I think)...

Love you all - there is a quick update on us!!


Friday, November 16, 2007

Life's big changes - It's a Boy!!

Hello all - here is an update from the Nelson, Sanders, Adams and Strole household...

Me - Well, it was time for my annual psychiatry appointment with my 80ish year old doctor and well, I was talking with him about the last year and when I looked over - he was asleep (or dead I couldn't tell). I had a sudden fear that I had bored my psychiatrist to death!! I said his name a couple of times in hopes of waking him up and he didn't budge - so I poked him in the arm and he woke up and asked me if I wanted tranquilizers (good GOD do I need them?) I told him NO I DON'T need tranquilizers and he quickly said he was thinking about another patient. This is where the jokes come in (My psychiatrist slept with me, I bored him to death, I am a very soothing person???)

Amber is doing much better in school - we are doing a reward system that seems to be working. Bribery is what a reward system is - but hey, we have to do what we can right?

Mallory has been doing some interesting driving of late - she seems to be allergic to the concept of a "complete stop" at stop signs - she was almost broadsided and yes, we got a video of the whole thing...... I cannot in good faith relay the language she used on video - filthy. She is doing well in school and seems to enjoy her job at JC Penny.

Ron has been working his butt off at work and playing full time Dad on the weekends while I torture myself at school (I PASSED MY PRACTICUM) finally. Now it is on to my internship which will most definitely be like having 2 jobs - but I think Ron is handling things at home well!!

IT's A BOY - no I am not pregnant and either is Ron or Mallory. We have an exciting addition to our home. My nephew Tyler has decided to live with us until he graduates high school in about a year and half. He is a great kid - just needs a new environment. Although this is not easy by any means we feel blessed to have him!! Ron and I are re-locating Ron's office to our bedroom and for those of you that have had the pleasure of seeing his office - I am not yet sure where we will sleep! But - Tyler being a teenage boy - he needs his own room... Thank you Ron for being so willing to sacrifice your sanctuary!

The dogs are OK - we have had them in a cage by the dog door for about a year and decided to give them another chance to roam the house without peeing on EVERYTHING... They failed this test after getting into the trash peeing on all of our coats, the couches and yes yet again.... each other. I also found most of our underwear decorating the back yard - half eaten... So much for forgiveness and second chances the dogs are now back in their cage.

I am so excited for the holidays as I will get to see most of my friends from Qwest and other parts of the world - I feel so thankful to have friends where the lack of time doesn't damage the friendship.

Love you all.


Saturday, October 20, 2007


Amber had her first Volleyball game of the season... Since last year her team lost every game, I was hoping that she would get to feel what it is like to be on a winning team...

SHE SCORED 11 points on her own, their team won both games! She is a natural at it and now that she knows how to play she acts like she isn't even trying.... It is so cool to see her skills develop!!

Now - her team needs to come up with a name based on the color of their team tee-shirts......... the color........... BURNT ORANGE!!!

Ok so the ones that we have voted off are:

The Carrots
The Yams
The Poo Girls
The String Cheese's (yes plural)
The Mad Macaronis
The Burnt Eagles
The pumpkins

OH MY!! Suggestions are welcome!!

Sunday, October 14, 2007

9 year old imagination - 4-wheeling

OK so here are a couple of pictures of Amber and I in her magical fort she built in the family room (whatta mess). But it was fun to play with her and pretend. I also added a picture of us 4-wheeling. I am excited because I figured out how to add photos!

I got out of the truck and suddenly was very short and looking at the seat in the truck!

If you look, the back tire is in the air - Cool!!

Yes, there is my priceless princess showing off her matching purple underwear in her magical fort.

This is me, haggared from playing with Amber all day and trying to read for school (in the magical fort) all day... The creative ways we mom's must find to do things like play with our kids and do our homework too!


4 Wheeling Fun - He let me drive

OK so I know yet again that my husband loves me. He let my drive the princess while we were 4-wheeling, not once did he grab the wheel, slam his feet into the floorboard to activate the imaginary brake or grab the "oh crap" handle. It was a blast!!

And many of us well know - grief can sneek up on you at unexpected times (like yesterday), so can joy!! Going out and 4-wheeling in the snow was just what the doctor ordered!!

To all of you who are too far away to see the amazing sights of Colorado - these are for you!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Feeling Sad today - thought I would share the pain

I found some beautiful videos about remembering everyone who died at Columbine... Today it is cloudy and life is tough, so I am taking some time out to feel some pain and grief..... occassionally it is helpful.

I love all of you...

Tribute to Columbine High School Victims

Columbine High School Massacre

Friday, October 12, 2007

Smoking cars, cooking adventures and bad grades

I have been SOOOO busy between work, my practicum for school and working on my internship that I can't even keep track of things (I keep doing things like paying the bills twice - or not at all). I am possibly doing my internship at St. Johns Hospice. I am so excited about this - grief counseling is awesome.

Mallory had her first taste of "life sucks" when your driving today when the focus blew a hose.... Of course she calls and says that the car is on fire because she can't tell the difference between smoke and steam....... OH MY!! And she even took auto shop at school..... good grief!! The car is now fixed and she is happily on the road again.

Amber is doing ok - she has straight "F's" at school........ we are so proud - NOT!!! Her teacher this year sucks and we are working on that... Amber may get to experience 4th grade twice. She is trying hard but she is beginning to internalize the behaviors that she used to act out. Her behavior at home is good, but at school she is far from focused. The special education department is working with us, every school tells you what to do when you are being bullied, but there aren't very many resources when your child is "THE BULLY".

I tied to make Chicken and dumplings, 1st you must know the difference between edible chicken and ROTTON chicken (note to self: If the chicken smells so bad you gag, cooking it won't make it edible). 2nd you MUST NOT add too much baking powder - I put in a spoon sized amount of dough for the dumpling and it blew up the size of a watermelon and then deflated. Oh my............ I really can't get this cooking thing down.

Anyway - I will keep you all posted on our new adventures.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Teenage Successes and Sleepovers

So I am SOOO proud of Mallory - she got great grades on her progress report, she only had one incident that set off the camera and she got a job at JC Penny (making $7.75 an hour which is pretty good) which is showing her how a corporation is run (vs. the crappy Melt store). She even made it home by curfew...... We are shocked by the changes we have seen in her and given her so many kuddo's for doing well she is getting angry and telling us to "shut up". I am starting to wonder if we are good parents after all??

I had a tough Mommy moment when we were at Goodwill and she wanted to buy an end table to begin buying things for when she moves out....... UGH!! Don't blink ladies - before you know it those cute little babies grow up and leave to become individuals....

Amber had her 2nd sleepover EVER - She was so excited and overstimulated it was nearly impossible to keep her from hyperventilating.... She was also invited to go to a Rockies game with a friend and her parents... Apparently the social "Training" that she is learning in her special education class is working. She has also started using words such as: amazing, neat and fabulous instead of: stupid, sucky and dumb...

I have been a real mess, my back, neck, jaw, hips and knee have been hurting so bad, I drove to the chriropractor office and sat in the waiting room, threatening to sleep there if I needed to because I needed to be seen. I haven't been there in 4 years.

If you all remember when I was addicted to the pain meds after the accident in 1999, I was a total skeptic about chriropractic until he "fixed" me in 3 months and I haven't been back or taken the pills since... I called Ron after my appointment and jokingly told him that I was in love with another man - and running away with the chriropractor!! He laughed...

Anyway - We survived another week!! Looking forward to another one as good as this one!

See you all later.


Monday, September 24, 2007


OK so here is why I haven't posted in a few days, there hasn't been anything funny or happy... But I realized that with most of you being my friends, I can occasionally post the depressing too...

Thursday September 20:
Mallory calls herself into school (1st period) and says she is me - She used "Constance Sanders" not knowing that when I call her in, I call myself "Coni Nelson", so she was going to be suspended for 1 day until I chewed out the principle for giving a kid that was skipping a class MORE time outside of class, so she has detention after school for 2 days and the loss of her cell phone and car for the weekend - which I will later explain got her FIRED from her job.

Friday September 21:
The filming crew got to my house about 10am to film us on the day of the opening of the Columbine Memorial, it is hard to feel happy and sad all at the same time...... Anyway, Mallory said something profound on camera and I wanted to share; she commented that "Dave was in the right place at the right time" - she used to say "Dave was in the wrong place at the wrong time" but now accepting that he saved many people by doing what he did, healing and time have changed Mallory's perception, that is AWESOME.

11am - we go to the memorial opening for families only to give us an opportunity to look at the memorial site before the public and the media. I see my mom there, her eyes only about 1/4 of the way open and stumbling - SHE IS HIGH ON SOMETHING AT THE DAMN DEDICATION..... What a selfish bitch!!! We do our best to ignore her and she eventually disappears...... we are thankful that there are not cameras to see her disgusting display of addiction.

4pm - the dedication ceremony begins and it is beautiful, sad and exciting - many people showed up for this since it is one of the few "happy" occasions connected to Columbine because now the tour buses will start going to the memorial and NOT to Columbine high school. During this whole ceremony we were all relieved that my mother was nowhere in sight. In addition I lost track of Mallory and because I took away her cell phone, I had to go and find her in a crowd of 5000 people. If you are interested in seeing any of the news coverage and photos - here are some links:

7pm - My grandmother calls to ask if I have seen my mother, they live with her and were worried because she had been gone all day which is unlike my mother. I knew - she was out stoned, drunk and probably driving - she is not picking up her cell phone. So I start calling emergency rooms, no luck. Finally my sister reaches her on her cell phone and my mother is at the Casinos up in the mountains DRUNK and high on some prescription drugs she probably took from my grandparents... She says she will be home soon.

8pm - Cindy (My sister) and I go to her house to confront her about leaving her at risk parents home alone without calling OH and driving while intoxicated. I call the Colorado State Patrol and give them a description of her car and tell them she is intoxicated - they say they need an exact location of where she is driving to catch her - Yes, I was trying to get my mother caught.

9pm - Mom shows up at the house obviously wasted saying that she "only had some whit zinbenthels (I am guessing that is white zinvendel in drunk speak). I ask her how she is going to feel if she kills someone drinking and driving and her response was (in a very cute, sweet voice) "Like anyone would feel if they killed somebody I guess..... I would face the consequences just fine". When asked why she was drinking and driving her response was "Because I wanted to". I lost it - told her to F*** off and go to hell (In front of my grandmother) and I left. Only a short time later my sister Cindy calls to say that mom is violent and is trying to choke her, I told her to call 911.... Cindy calls and I return to my mothers house to meet with the police only to discover that my grandmother has her cane outside the door telling the police they cannot come inside. Cindy and I leave and mom is threatening (and packing a bag) to leave again. The police take down her license plate number and the story goes on....

Saturday September 23: At noon Mallory asks if she can get a phone number from her cell phone which she is grounded from. She sees a strange text message from her boss at the Melt store asking if she will be coming into work on Satruday at 4pm - OF COURSE SHE WILL, she is scheduled.... So she calls him back and he says that because she didn't call back right away to confirm that she will be working her scheduled shift, she is FIRED.... This guy is the epitomy of an asshole. He has displayed control issues and terrible management skills to the girls in the store and tells them they are doing terrible but can't explain what they are doing that is SO terrible... He is a 22 year old idiot and Ron and I are happy she is no longer subjected to his horrible influence. However, Mallory is devastated - she worked hard, liked her job and was selling more than he was - which is why he probably fired her.

Sunday September 24: Mallory picks herself up and we go to the mall to pick up applications (in part to help her feel less discouraged). As she is filling out an application at JC Penny a manager walks up and asks her to come in for an interview.... YEAH, we want her to be at a big company where the managers are actually trained, the schedule is flexible and she can get a discount on items she can actually use. She GOT THE JOB and has orientation on Tuesday (After detention for calling herself in to class last week). Although her old boss from the Melt store keeps calling her to tell her how terrible she is, Ron, Mallory and I are writing a letter to the owners of the Melt store to let them know just how untrained and inapproprite this guy is...

Anyway I will blog with pictures of Ron and I's day away in the mountains tonight - along with pictures of my cutie-pa-tootie Amber with braces.

Love you all - sorry this post is not very fun......

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Braces and Doggy Dermatologists

So Amber got braces to fix her underbite and they didn't have to gas her to do it. She squirmed and bit, but they are on... She is such a trooper, they decided to wait until the braces were on to tell her that she can no longer:

Eat gum
Chew candy
Eat Soda
Drink high sugar foods

I will post a picture of miss cutie tonight on the blog....

I had to take my dog Scrappy (Scratchy) to the doggie dermatologist today - they wanted me to spend $600 to confirm that my damn dog is allergic to grass - apparently the fact that we don't have any living grass in the backyard doesn't matter. In the end I spent $200 for pills he has to take to make his fur stop flaking off and make him quit eating his paws for dinner because they itch.

They vet gave me a strange look when he asked if Scrappy has normal urine output and I responded "Yes he does, he can pee on the couch, the fridge and his companion Grizzy multiple times per day."

Anyway - the ugliest, dumbest dog on earth now needs medication and lots of attention... we did however turn down the vet's offer to put braces on him to straighten his teeth....... GOOD GOD - HE'S A DOG!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Dead Hamsters (For real this time AND more than one)

Ron and I went 4-wheeling on Saturday and left Mallory a list of chores since she is grounded for the weekend - WHY? - Because the camera in her car registered a 3rd passenger while she ran a red light and having a third passenger is against the law (OH - and running the red light too)... We asked her to clean her hamster cages and clean the cat box while we were gone.

We had a fantastic time 4-wheeling until we called home Saturday evening to hear Mallory crying in hysterics. She exclaimed "I KILLED MY HAMSTERS". She has had one of the hamsters "Chubbs" for over 2 years and she played with him all the time, the other hamster "Honey" was meaner than shit but we bought her when Mallory thought that Chubbs had been eaten by the cat (See previous posts).

She went outside to clean the cages and put one hamster in the play-pen (A hamster size fence that you can put on any surface) and put Chubbs in his ball. She got the cages clean and went to get the hamsters from outside; Chubbs was in his ball DEAD, it was very hot outside so we are guessing he died of heat-stroke. Mallory went to get Honey from the playpen and he was gone - only to be found in the dog cage with a shih-tzu eating him.....

So - like any mother when Ron and I got home we took her to Petsmart and bought her a new hamster...

Mallory put both dead hamsters in a shoe box and is insistent that we bury them in the backyard, although I am not too cool with that idea since I still have nightmares from the movie pet cemetary and we have multiple animals that will enjoy a "dug up" midnight snack... I am sure that if we bury them in the backyard it will NOT be the last we see of Chubbs and Honey - may they rest in peace!?!?!?!?

What is there to look forward to in future posts? Amber getting her braces on Friday and adventures of the creepy dead hamsters re-appearing in the backyard....

Sunday, August 26, 2007

School, Bugars and The "White" Woman

OK so after 3 weekens in a row of school, a kid who has had to go to the doctor and the dentist in preparation for braces.... I am one tired mama...

The only entertaining piece of late is that I told Amber that once her braces were put on, she would have to cut up her food and eat it with a fork.... her reply "I have to eat my bugars with a fork?"........... After gagging for a few seconds and I am sure giving her that "I know you didn't just say that" look, I realized she meant "burgers".

Um gross...

I did have an interesting experience at 7-11 in Aurora, I was walking into the store and the cutest little black girl (I am guessing she was about 5 years old) had spilled a 64 oz big gulp of kool-aid on the floor, the store was busy and mom and daughter were laughing and good natured about the spill, but it was everywhere. So I offered to help clean it up and the little girl stopped cleaning it and looked up at me and said loudly "BUT YOU'RE WHITE", I didn't know what to say so I said "I am?"... She didn't know what to say so she stood up, crossed her arms and watched in amazment that a white woman was cleaning up her mess.

Her mother explained with embarassment that in her neighborhood, white people weren't nice to them, the only response I could muster was "I am not from your neighborhood and I am sorry".

I cannot believe that this crap still happens, or maybe I don't want to, but what an eye opener, for a white girl!!

Be kind to everyone folks - just one nice gesture could change a childs view of the world forever.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Back to School

OK so now that all of us parents are BROKE, since the schools want "Crayola" instead of generic (you remember the black and white packages of generic items that our parents used to buy to end our social lives in elementary schools). School clothes which cost a lot and have NO ENOUGH material...... especially in the teen section. Good god...I though we were in the bathing suit section, not the teen clothing section. Although I did find some cute lingerie in the teen clothing section.... Mallory then told me it is a top not lingerie... I guess I will save myself some embarassment and just go naked...

Anyway, so Amber is getting braces in a couple of weeks and I cannot beleive how much money they want for 6 tiny little brackets and a wire....... I was trying to think how that could cost $3,200, I think I am going to ask if we can provide our own parts and just pay the dentist for labor...... After all I have a couple of brackets that fell off of my teeth when I had braces and I know we can super glue them to her teeth... I also have "Memory" wire for jewelry making and some pliers.. WHAT IS SO DAMN EXPENSIVE...

Mallory's job is going well although her boss is a 24 year old control freak who thinks he rules the world because he manages a "Melt" store. They carry a lot of really cool things that nobody needs, like bath salt (If you are sweaty enough your sweat can turn a bath salty right?). They also have lots of lotion although when broke crisco works just like Eucerin (feels like it too). They also have face cleanser that causes zits..... apparently this is good????

Anyway, that is all for now... I need to go tend to my niece whose eyes appear like those of a pot head..... she has a nasty case of pink eye and is enjoying rubbing her eyes and touching things...... I am so glad the plague came to visit...... We love her lots, she is a super cool kid.........

Saturday, August 4, 2007

"Survivor Man" Ron & Coni Style

OH MY.... Only with my luck can something this awful take place. Ron and I split town for the weekend of camping and as you can tell since I am blogging on Saturday it didn't go so well!!!

We packed an airmattress and all the camping gear we could find and plenty of food for our big adventure in the mountains. We have never been camping together and the kids are gone so we set out Friday afternoon for a weekend of 4-wheeling and fun!

We got up to Georgia pass and made it about a mile in when we needed 4-Wheel drive, suddenly there was a loud "BANG, CLANK, BANG CLANK" right under my seat, it was raining biting cats and dogs but we stopped on the trail and Ron got out to take a look under the truck, I got out and came around to turn the steering wheel while he inspected and heard a "PSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" coming from the tire.

Soaking wet now, we decided that we needed to turn back to the lovely town of Como (Population 5) we managed to get a can of "Fix a flat" and realized that as long as we stayed out of 4-Wheel drive, the truck drove fine. We decided since we were already up in the mountains we would just find a campground on Boreas Pass since that trail doesn't require 4-Wheel drive. We found a beautiful campground and set up camp at 10,500 feet... We had a really good time in spite of our troubles until it started raining cats and biting dogs again......... We got into the back of the truck, the airmattress inflated and settled in to sleep for the night WRONG!!!!!!!

The airmattress doesn't quite fit in the back of the truck and was rubbing on the sides of the truck making a loud "PLTHB" sounds like a giant fart. As most of you know in the mountains EVERYTHING is so quiet.......... Except for our "farting mattress" that was loud enough to wake up the bears every time we moved. Then came the COLD............. we had a comforter and that was it (DUMB INEXPERIENCED CAMPERS). We were up all night waiting for sunlight, shivering in our multiple coats and smoking cigarettes to pass the time.

Of course smoking in an almost enclosed truck made us once again look like a version of "Cheech and Chong go Camping"... the smoke was billowing out from the inside and must have looked like the truck was on fire. We were also in bear country and the sign says to keep your food locked in your car (Check - did that), next line says "NOT where you are sleeping (UH, what if you are sleeping in the locked car). Luckily no Grizzlies came to say "Hello, give me a damn hot dog".

We decided to come home at 6:15am today after waiting 30 minutes for our camping percolator to produce the weakest coffee we have ever had - Why isn't there a Starbucks on Boreas Pass???

Anyway - Ron is hopeful that he can fix the truck easily - we expected that this might happen since we got that particular part very cheap and used - but hey, if it didn't break it would have been a great deal!!

We survived this adventure, I hope there is a less exciting one in our future!!!!!! Love you All...

PS. Mallory got a job at the "Melt" store at the mall - I am sure that will bring some interesting news............ Their biggest seller is "Fizzy Balls" which Mallory can't say with a straight face.....

Sunday, July 29, 2007

It runs, It climbs and OZZFest

Ok - for those of you that took bets on whether the 4-Runner would end it life as a "4-Sitter" now it is time to pay up or collect.

Ron and I took the truck on a trail over Mt. Evans.... it was fun - even more so because it needs shocks...... It drove great, the seat belts work well too, some of the trail was a bit rough and the seat belt kept me in my seat!

Ron was somewhat skeptical about the steering and in fact had an entire steering assembly in the back of the truck "just in case" we had to replace it on the trail. We thought the trail would only take a couple of hours, but it ended up being more like 5-6 hours - all a super fun time!!

All right - time to call your bookie and pay up!!!!!!!

Mallory went to Ozzfest yesterday - Ron made her SUPER happy and got 9 tickets so she could invite her friends.... Ron even let her take the car while grounded... we were laughing when she called us at midnight and somehow had gotten lost driving, the concert was at Fiddlers Green (Coors Amplitheatre) and she somehow was at Havana and Alameda....... We realized that she doesn't know North, South, East and West at night when she can't see the mountains.... It took a while to talk her through it, but she made it home by 1 am.....

Ron and I have since given in to her inadequacies of direction and installed a compass and a road atlas in her car..... we will find out if she can read the atlas on her next adventure out in the car!!

She currently hates us because next week the GPS is being hardwired into her car along with a camera installed on the rearview mirror - thanks to our insurance company the camera records all sudden activity inside and outside of the car and sends a report to us...... In addition the GPS will email text Ron if her speed exceeds 75 MPH, we set it there knowing that at 80MPH the wheels will likely have a sudden departure from our little Ford Focus... OH TO BE A TEENAGER in the year 2007!!

We had a friend take some pictures of the trail (Proof that the truck really did go on it, for those of you skeptical that we towed it up there and parked it on the road to take pictures, we will attempt to include video) I will post them when we get them.......... Love you all!!!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Mallory's trial

AHHHH....... Another blissful day bonding with my teenager.

She plead guilty to a lessor charge of "Illegal Dumping", agreed to 3 months of probation (Juvenile Diversion) and fines that they still cannot give us an amount.

She has an appointment with the probation department on August 10th and if we agree to the penalities they want to impose she will go back to court on August 20th to either start the process over or have the judge sign off on the agreement that probation sets such as: community service, an essay explaining why she won't do it again and OF COURSE fines.

So no, the saga is not yet over.

However, we were rather entertained by a man throwing a chair because the judge would not throw out his domestic violence charges. We also ran into a family member, it was good bonding time.

I am hoping that soon Mallory will earn her angel wings and turn out to be a good girl - however, she informed me that her previous angel wings got caught in her horns and came off.

In other news, Ambers eyebrows are coming along nicely, the green sharpie she used to draw them back on is slowly wearing off as well.

Love and kisses from the craziest household in Littleton!!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Where have I been?? & Amber shaved off her eyebrows

Ok so sorry for the brief vacation from blogging. Here are some of the highlights of the last month:

1. Amber was playing beauty shop and shaved off "most" of her eyebrows.. This of course has been devastating to all of us as holding in the laughter has given the entire family minor heart attacks and some very sore ribs... She will recover although she does look like a house elf and is hard to look at for more than a second or two...

2. I was very sick.... All at once I had a Sinus Infection (Snot running continuously down the back of my throat) making my nose stuffed up so I could not breath through it, at the same time I had Acute Bronchitis (Snot trying to come up my throat) and making it hard to breath through my mouth. THE KICKER - was Strep throat causing my throat to swell and tickle. THE COMBINATION was a snot traffick jam in my throat made me one scary, whiny and irratable woman who could only sleep and gasp for air.... Pay no mind to the major Nicotine fits because unless I could smoke through my ears, it wasn't happening.

3. Mallory passed her driving test and we are happy to report that we NEVER have to ride in the car with her again. However, we are depending on all of you to keep an eye out for a dark Gray Ford Focus that is driving like a mad bat.... please call us to report her driving skills or lack thereof.... We are all safe until August 1st though, as she is already grounded from her license... OH to be a teenager.

4. We went up to my Step Moms cabin in Grandby to go boating and relax. The most relaxing part was being on the center of the lake in a severe lightening storm.. OOPS. We did survive mostly intact, other than our wits which were fried.

5. I purchased the new Harry Potter book at Midnight at a Grand Hallows ball. However, I was stuck in line with Amber who was excitedly talking and spit into the lady in line behind us's eye... Of course, Amber laughed feverishly instead of apologizing... I did have a rather charming young man in front of me that was very interesting, however all charms were lost when he asked me for my phone number (HELLO I HAVE A WEDDING RING)........ I kindly replied with "I could give you my husbands number, he looks something like Hagrid". All conversation ceased immediately...

6. I miss all of my friends at Qwest, it is always a promise to keep in touch but inevitably life changes and people get busy.... Oh how I miss the laughs and the doughnuts.

I am sure now that life is back on track and our near death and near loss of eyebrow experiences are fading I will be able to blog more.... An update on the blog Thursday for sure after Mallory's trial....

See you all - Love you all!!


Sunday, June 24, 2007

Ron has another new truck - I am insane

OK so here it is - When I awoke Thursday Ron informed me with that little kid that just found a new toy smile that he had bought another truck. Ron works hard, generally isn't crazy and does a lot for the family so I figured - NO BIG DEAL..... Well, that was until he told me that he needed to tow it home........ here we go again....

So he rented a tow dolly from U-Haul and we drove to Loveland yesterday to pick it up, we actually hauled it with a Toyota Tacoma (a fairly small truck) which Ron informed me wouldn't be a problem since the new truck didn't weigh very much... I was afraid to ask "why"...

Then I am thinking - where are we going to put this thing???? Of course like any other redneck hillbilly - IN THE BACKYARD. So I try to find the bright side of this - we can use the bed of it as a swimming pool or I could plant flowers in it - to make it less of an eye sore........ then I am told "No there isn't a truck bed"..... HMMM We already have tires to sit on in the back yard like every good hillbilly does so maybe we can add the seats from the truck; then I am told "No there aren't any seats". So then I start thinking that it must have a hood - that could be used for shade until I am told "there isn't a hood".

At this point I am totally baffled as to WHAT can be done with this new truck........ HERE ARE A COUPLE OF PHOTOS of course taken with it's best sides showing:

OK - so I love my husband and I know he is somewhat of a "Mad Scientist" when it comes to cars but THIS is by far the weirdest purchase. Of course, he is SUPER excited because it only cost him $250.... I am thinking we got ripped off and that it would be more fun to light it on fire for the 4th of July. But I was told "NO" by my psychotic but cute husband......

So I am open to suggestions of what can be done with the beast in my backyard to make it less of an eye sore, here are some other suggestions I came up with:

Cover it with astroturf - of course that won't plend with the brown weeds in the back-yard
Plant roses in it - however, this would draw attention to it (a blind man could see it the way it is now)
Paint it camoflauge - of course the desert colors since I don't have green grass
Light it on fire - and do the rain dance in hopes of turning my backyard green OR the fire department will show up and water my grass for me (only after it caught fire of course)


Wife of a Madman

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Cleaning an 8 year olds bedroom

My daughter Amber thinks she is a princess........ by the looks of her room she is the princess of a hazmat swamp. My other daughter is the princess of darkness (most of her posters say things like: "THE STUPID FACTORY - Where boys are made"). I wish she felt that way since she is almost 16 years old........

Anyway, Amber is off to girlscout camp for a funfilled week of playing with kids her own age (and hopefully not torturing the camp counselors). So I decided it was time to clean her room. Amber has a "thing" for rocks, I didn't realize how big this thing was until I found half of my rock garden piled in her closet - yes folks, she xeriscaped her closet with my front yard.......

I also found many unidentifiable sticky substances, picked up a pink barbie container that exploded in a cloud of pink glittery powder, once the air cleared and I could see the exit I made a dive for it over the 3 trash bags of stuffed animals that were each covered in lipstick and eye shadow. My daughter is Tammy Faye Bakers future make-up artist.

After seeing my barbie pink, glittery face and hair, I decided I was going back in to attack her room. I went in slowly not knowing what was going to attack next - - little did I know that all of the tiny barbie accessories (tiny shoes, hairbrushes and purses) were weapons. So after a brief attempt to continue in my cleaning adventure in Princess Has too Muches room I had to retreat yet again, this time to the first aid kit to find the tweezers to pick a barbie high heel out of my foot, cover it with a bandaid and continue my mission.

After 5 long hours of work it looks the same as when I started but there are 3 lawn and leaf bags full of trash, I have only just scratched the surface....

If I survive this mission I will post more, If I do not please tell my princesses that I went to battle in Princess Has too Muches territory and fought my hardest, hopefully the Princess of Darkness will understand........

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Bonding time in Juvenile Penal Court

Mallory and I decided to spend the day together, enjoying each others presence and the Lakewood Police Department and Court center..... After a few mintes of being there and seeing the other kids and their scary parents, I think she is happy to have Ron and I. We observed that many of the kids were already on probation for other offenses and some of the parents were actually wearing those ankle bracelet things. Some parents were stoic, others crying, others laughing hysterically at the charges their kids committed (most of them were serious). Mallory and I just sat silent, waiting our turn to find out what this deck of jacked up cards is dealing us. She is scared, I am lost and together in that crowd, for once, we looked.......normal.

OK so today was Mallory's court date and after hearing that she would have to be in the Juvenile Diversion Program (Probation) for 1 year, 200 hours community service and $1,000 fine for pleading GUILTY, we decided that we needed to plead NOT GUILTY.

After talking with the DA, she said that if Mallory plead NOT GUILTY that they will go through a pre-discovery phase in which the prosecutors office will talk to the officer as to why he felt the need to write a ticket for deadly weapons given that it was a bottle tossed only 5 or so feet.

I also paid to have access to all documents related to the case and received what the police officer wrote about Mallory on the back of his copy of the ticket. Everything checks out - she had a good attitude, was cooperative and polite and told him that tossing it was stupid and that she was sorry.


So now it goes to trial on July 26th, we either have to get an attorney or have Mallory represent herself (that would be interesting.... "Like, I was being on the LD your sir, like I kinda did it, like I don't know why")

Anyway - so we are looking for an attorney just to talk to about it since we only have 1 paragraph of document and a trial, I am not sure we want to retain one...... not even sure how much it would cost for something this pathetic...

It has been a rough day - Amber played Volleyball and did GREAT!!!! Time to rest!!!!!

Sunday, June 10, 2007


Ambers Birthday Cake

Amber playing in a tub of water in 30 degree weather, when I asked her if she was cold she said "NO MOM, I am farting to keep the water warm"

This is a picture of our culdesac party - you can actually see the orange balloon streaking through the air (No it isn't an Orb of a dead person)

Ambers Big Birthday Bash

We had SO much fun with Amber at her party! Some of her friends from her class showed up (which is a first). We had some face paint markers that were a big hit. The adults drew on their own faces with no mirror - by the end of it the adults looked like we belonged to a tribe and the kids didn't have any face paint on them.

We decided to share the face paints with this kids and by the end of the party we made a startling discovery - the face paint is not as washable as the package claimed..... So even after washing our faces some of us looked jaundiced from the yellow marker, burned from the red marker, dirty from the brown marker, bruised from the black marker, sick from the green marker and those unfortunate enough to use the blue marker looked like walking corpses........

Needless to say when the parents came to pick up their multi color tinged children, I think they were a little scared and dismayed.

Then came the water baloon toss and water fight........... Everyone had fun but I kept an eye out for the police since Mallory already has a charge for throwing a "missile" I didn't want the rest of us to get tickets as well :)

We decided to have an impromtu block party complete with food, s'mores, a fire building contest and more.

We have some extremely picky neighbors with no children that seemed a little upset at the mess being made in the culdesac with remenants of baloons, sidewalk chalk, fireworks corpses and wood shavings but they are so damn dumb we told them that it was "National mess up your culdesac day" and they beleived us!

Thank you to everyone that came and made Ambers 9th birthday special!!!!!! Also thank you to those of you that didn't take it personally when Amber whined about no money in the cards, threw the presents and took more than 3 prompts from us to say thank you.......... Isn't she cute???!?!?!?!?!?

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Scenic PO'd Car Ride and Scary Neighbors

Well, Ron and I got up early this morning (12:30 in the afternoon) and decided that since we didn't have the kids we would go for a scenic drive...... It was scenic all right!

It is easy to take in the scenery when your car is having a bad day and refusing to go more than 10mph up hill.... Yes folks, we were those awful people going up a mountain road that your grandma flips off for going too slow....

Imagine - we are driving our TURBO volvo on a two lane road going 10mph...... Of course maybe since the car has misbehaved we could change the word TURBO on the back of the car to TURDO......

I love my car dearly and apparently it want another sensor - the problem is the throttle position sensor....... The strangest part of this problem is that the car has alzheimers and forgets about its wounded sensor until we are on a two lane road in the mountains...... The check engine light goes off when you restart the car.........

We were at least wishing we had blue colored wigs so that people could try to understand that we were old, but we didn't... So we lit another cigarette in hopes that the car would look like Cheech and Chong - at least then people would see all the smoke coming out and think we were high, which is far better than being thought that you are super old or just an asshole......

Anyway - the car shaped up and we drove to a beautiful scenic area to go over a pass that is closed for 2 weeks (Yet again another National Lampoons moment)... We turned around and had a nice picnic next to a beaver pond...

We got home and some lady and her kid came to the door, I could vaguely recall her face and she informed me that she came by a couple of years ago on Halloween (I am thinking - DUH, that's what people do on Halloween). She informs me that she has come by my house a couple of times and we were not home and she sees us out front a lot and wanted to invite us over for s'mores.

After she leaves Ron and I decide that we are uncomfortable with our new stalker friend and wish not to go eat what might be poisened s'mores from the strange lady with the wandering eye down the block..... but we need a cover story as to why we couldn't make it since after all........she might be watching.

We decide to go have pizza to make the story plausible that we had to go somewhere. Although I half expected to find this woman and her demon child on the front porch when I got home, we were safe - ran into the house, turned off the lights, closed the curtains and hid...........

Yes we might be paranoid but we don't like new people, that's why we keep the same friends we had when we were 20 (OH...... and because they are cool).

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Will the teenage stupidity EVER stop

Ok so I just got a call from the Lakewood Police Department, Mallory just got a ticket for throwing a "missile".... This is going down as one of the stupidist tickets in history!!!

She was walking through the Home Depot parking lot and was observed by a Lakewood Police officer picking up a bottle and tossing it on the ground. She didn't damage anything, didn't aim at anything and the bottle was not hers..... OK yes it is stupid but what ever happened to warnings??? She has NEVER been in trouble with the police, nor had a police contact.

Now I get to go to court with her on June 13th, you can't even just pay it, we have to go see a judge.

This seems LIKE A TOTAL WASTE of tax money in my eyes - am I wrong??????????

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Teenagers and Punishment

So Mallory has finished the school year, but she failed a couple of electives. I was trying to calming talk to her about this when she exploded with major attitude. I simply tried to tell her that she totally wasted her time since now she will have to take those electives next year. MAN SHE GOT MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She stomped up to her room and I overheard her saying some AWFUL things about me... I have never felt so hurt, some were lies, others I can not even repeat without my stomach turning. So I opened her door and told her to pack her crap, she could move in with her Dad. That stopped her in her tracks, she knew she had messed up.

A typical teenager, she tried everything in the book:

Guilt - "I have had a really tough couple of weeks", "I am trying my hardest" (NOT TRUE), "I am sorry I am stupid, not perfect or a great kid, sorry I don't have better friends."

Emotions - "I love you mom, you're the best" "I am sorry, sorry, sorry".

Basically Ron had to intervene which was strange, Mallory and I generally get along great. Sor we decided as punishment for the horrible things she said, she has to pull all the weeds in the garden in our yard........... She thought she got off easy until she saw it. After working feverishly for about an hour in the hot sunshine she had completed 1 square foot, however, she never complained.

Our reasoning for this approach was that I love this garden but don't have time to weed it, she needed to do something special for me AND we wanted her to experience manual labor since that will be her only job option if she continues down a bad path in school.....

I also explained to her that she did not have to be perfect or brilliant - if she was, I wouldn't like her. I also told her that I love her friends, I just worry that their bad decisions will cause her secondary pain (physical, emotional, etc.). As you saw in my previous blogs her friends have been making some VERY poor choices.

Tranni adventures

So Ron has been working hard getting the transmission in, we have only had to go to the parts store and dealership a couple of times to get the strangest things I have ever seen. The damn thing is like a chinese puzzle. I have been trying to be helpful but apparently I am not quite Tim the tool mans assistant yet.

When your husband says to lower the red jack while he is under the truck, DON'T lower the black one.
DON'T panic when something doesn't look right in the engine and ask him to crawl out to look at it - the whole thing doesn't look right, it looks more like a life size 3-D puzzle.

So I resorted to doing the girliest things I could to help him:

I "franken-sewed" the seat to the truck that had torn
Washed grease off of parts and bolts (Gross)
Sanded rusty parts
Spray painted parts that were uygly (I would have spray painted the whole truck, but Ron said no).
Tried not to panic when I was in the kitchen and Ron called the home phone from the garage to say "help me", thank god he was not impaled or bleeding, just balancing the transmission on a jack and needed assistance getting tools.
I brewed tea and coffee
Made Food (that didn't make anyone sick)
Attempted to do anything asked to help but mostly I wasn't strong enough to help.

Anyhow - The truck may move in the next day or two, I am excited!! Really - I am excited!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Yet another Car Accident - TEENS!! UGH

So last Friday I took Mallory to the funeral for the her friend that stole the car and rolled it and died. Well, apparently the death of a friend and bad choices don't change the decisions these kids make. Yesterday I was enjoying some much needed sleep when Mallory came bashing into my room crying because her boyfriend was in a car accident and at Littleton Hopstial. So, doing my motherly duty, I drove her to the hospital and got the details.

He is sore and bruised but not dead (although his parents may fix that) - He was wearing a seatbelt but was driving without a license or a permit OH and somebody elses car.

His passenger was not wearing a seatbelt and hit the windshield, fortunately he didn't die either, but he will have a nasty mess of scars on his face to remind him of his choice to go riding with a wreckless unlicensed driver.

The woman whom the car T-boned's condition is unknown.

So, he will lose his license until he is 18, do some community service and have to deal with the wrath of his parents but at least he is alive. His parents will probably be sued by the lady whom he hit, he will most likely have to pay to replace the friends car and have lots of time to think about what he did.

I wish as a parent we could pick their friends, never let them out of our sight, hug them even when they hate us and more..... I wish that teenagers were capable of rational thought.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

The Transmission has landed

I am SO proud of Ron - He went out to the garage and took the transmission out of the truck. He is excited and so am I. So - those of you with money placed on how long it will be before it runs better start counting your pennies!! :)

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Susan's Happy 30th Bash!!

Ok so you know those super boring adult birthday parties that we all get invited to and dread going to.............. Well, Susan's was NOT one of those. Holy Cow - we had such a good time, the following were some of the highlights:

-Adriennes admission that she has her father's cheeks (not the ones on her face)
-Adrienne commenting on Susan's dads butt...
-Beautiful 3 yr old Andy jr being the dancing queen
-Grisinger Step Father playing his guitar just made the party SO GOOD - wow, I never knew the talent
-Andy explaining that he keeps his wiener in a cage............ actually his wiener dog was in a cage in the bedroom, but it still sounded funny.
-Ron and Amber accidentally kicking the soccer ball over the fence and Margaret retrieving them with wooden pickets of a fence like chop sticks.
-The fabulous cake with a picture of 6 month old Susan drinking a Shlepps beer, although it did freak me out to eat the frosting part of her face.

The whole party was lots of fun, what a great group of people. For those of you that don't know them, I wish you could - they are GREAT PEEPS!

Yo Peeps!!!!

Ok so Amber is getting into a weird stage........ OK - since birth, but anyway she is calling everyone including Ron and I her "Peeps", I have tried explaining that I take offense to being called a nasty sugar coated marshmellow treat, but she just takes it a step further and explains that if I were put in the microwave I would blow up just like a peep....

Cute huh???

Thursday, May 17, 2007

10 days flew by......

Ok so I haven't posted in 10 days but here is what has been happening...

Mallory had a friend that died last week... He stole a car, ran from the police, wrecked the stolen car (rolled it 8 times) and died.... Apparently his girlfriend was a runaway (she was also in the car - now gravely injured and missing a leg). He was running from the police because she didn't want to be found - DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB.... Well not only was she suicidal and depressed - now her boyfriend is dead and she is missing a leg.....

So in light of the fact that the only death Mallory has dealt with was her grandpa she didn't quite know how to deal with it........ so she ditched a class..... makes sense right??? NOT...... she ditched class to build a memorial (made out of poster board and cigarettes) in honor of the dumb ass that made the choice to run from the cops and die.... I am not trying to be hard headed but teaching teenagers about choices is like teached a dog to scoop their own poop...

Work has been really crazy - No pun intended.... We have started daking Department of Correction kids and in addition, we got a guy that was "too dangerous for jail".......... how does that happen.

I am getting worried about school - I need to find 3 volunteers to get free counseling during my practicum (6 sessions on the weekends)....... the problem is that it can't be family and the majority of my friends are in New Jersey.

So far, working nights has done my body good and bad - my diet is terrible and I am down to a size 6...... getting close to looking like a 12 year old boy...... anyway - I love you all and I hope to share more with you soon.

Love yall.............. Coni

Monday, May 7, 2007

Whoa relaxing is nice

OK so I have been reading a lot and playing Princess Peach.... Not much to report. Amber has been attending the Jeff Foxworthy spelling bee......... She keeps spelling out profanities......... She threw out an "F" bomb the other day and my hair almost fell out... I think we can thank her older sister for that one.

Mallory has been driving quite a bit and the other day I was sure she had lost her mind. We were going up a hill on Kipling in my Volvo which is a turbo and she was doing like 20mph... I told her to step on the gas and she said "mom it's floored", OH CRAP - - we crept up the hill and the car seemed to recover. Turns out the throttle system sensor was malfunctioning..... I love my car but DAMN it acts like sensors are dog treats........ when it wants a treat it throws a sensor.

A word of advice to anyone who has a check engine light - ALWAYS take your car to an auto parts store such as Checker or Auto Zone. They will plug a computer into your car and tell you what is malfunctioning, if you take your car directly to a repair shop they charge $100 just to tell you why the light is on!

Anyway - my NOT SO TURBO car has miraculously recovered, my nerves however are another story....

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Disconnected - Taking some time

So I haven't posted in a couple of days....... I have been taking some mental time off....... I decided that digging up dandelions was my new favorite past time.... They are a magical flower, no matter how many of them you remove they magically pop up again.... I think I may become a dandelion florist....... cheap and you can't kill them..... Someone suggested a funeral spray of dandelions - I don't think that I can go there...........

Amber on the other hand has discovered that scissors are her favorite toy now, and just like like the dandelions no matter how many you get rid of, they magically appear. She has trimmed our beautiful slow growing fire bush - just a lot, right off the top.... Then of course she trimmed off my tulips and painted our rock garden pink and blue - Ron was so happy to see the splash of color... NOT!

Mallory discovered that being 7 minutes late for curfew is a bad idea - the whole "we were finishing a movie" doesn't count as a valid excuse.....

Ron has spent a lot of time working in the back yard, he's a good guy..........

Anyway - not a whole lot of exciting stuff going on - THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, April 20, 2007

A day to mourn and remember

So many people have contacted me today to tell me that we are in their thoughts... Thank you to all, however, I am pushing all good thoughts and hopes to the families in Virginia that have just begun a tragic journey of grief.

As time goes on our life finds an equillibrium between grief and hope that turns to survival and happiness. We must endur the grief to be rewarded with the happiness. I am happy to report that I have made it through the grief and found happiness. However, on this day each year a great sadness becomes overwhelming.

I watch the clock and remember EXACTLY what I was doing 8 years ago at this very moment. The fact that 8 years ago right now - my life was "normal" and the words Columbine were only the name of the school where my dad worked. I also think about what he was doing, feeling prior to the tragic events...

As much as we are in your thoughts today, you are also in ours...

To Dad: Your last words were "tell my girls I love them", to you we say every day "we love you too".....

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Sick kid competition

So I am on "vacation" this week at home and so far Amber was home sick Monday, Mallory on Tuesday and then today (Wednesday) Mallory called and wanted to come home from school. In a moment of selfish irritation I told her that if she was sick enough to come home, she should call an ambulance - not me to come and get her...... I JUST WANT ONE DAY TO STAY HOME ALONE ON MY VACATION..... Yes, this proves that we do have a selfish side no matter how long we have been a mommy...

I am sick too - sick and tired of the kids that think one staying home means the other kid is automatically sick and gets to spend a whole day with mom.


CHILD HOME SICK TOO MUCH - Take them to a Dr. to make sure they aren't dying like they say they are. If the child (or teenager) stays home or comes home sick during the week, there will be NO MAKING PLANS for the following weekend. Amazingly, the kids hate this idea.

TEENAGER DITCHING SCHOOL - We told Mallory that she can have a car "free and clear" at graduation "IF" she didn't have a single unexcused absence from school until then. If she does have a mishap and ditch a class, the car will be traded in for something for us and she will be on her own as far as a car. MODIFICATION: If your child is not good with long term rewards you can tell them that for every class they ditch it will cost them $500 to the price of the car....

NOT DOING DISHES - We decided that if Mallory did not have the dishes put away by 6:00pm that was fine, but then she also had to load the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. This is working well because it gives her a choice... there are nights where she doesn't feel like doing them until after 6:00 and she just loads the dirty dishes..... it gives her choice and freedom.

NOT BRUSHING TEETH - Although I find the thought repulsive, my daughter Amber does not....... So, instead of paying hundreds of dollars to fill cavaties, we will pay amber twenty five cents per day... YES, $91 per year to keep her teeth from rotting out of her mouth.

We have no other words of wisdom as parenting is subjective and it changes daily.

See you all soon!!!!!

Friday, April 13, 2007


Hey all - I changed my settings so even if you don't have an account you can leave comments.... Love you all!! Coni

Monday, April 9, 2007

I bought a sewing machine - OH MY - I am not kidding!!

Ok so Mallory is taking a fashion class and is making herself clothes. I can only remember my own adventures of making clothes at her age. I was trying to make a pair of shorts and cut the fabric for the front the same size as the back (no room for my butt) and I couldn't sew, so I hot glued them together. To get an "A" in the class we had to wear our garment to school.............. so I did, I safetey pinned the shorts to my shirt because butt wouldn't fit in them.

Mallory is much more adventurous - she is making a beautiful dress (or so the pattern says).... I felt like I was standing in an auto parts store, since I can't even sew on buttons, the fabric store was just as scary. Sewing on buttons would be the equivilant of changing my own oil.

So, I found a wonderful salesperson who was able to read the pattern, show me what a "hook and eye" was since I thought it was fishing tackle......... By the end of the trip we bought fabric, zippers, other little unknown doo dads and a sewing machine. The sewing machine even came with an instruction video (unfortunately the video doesn't start with how to turn it on or explain why it has what looks like a gas pedal).

So now 3 hours later we have a sewing machine that looks like it went through a tornado of string and I still don't know what to do with the gas pedal (I tried to sit on it, bite on it-still don't know what the hell it is for). We haven't yet been able to put fabric under the little metal gadget.......

It still sounds like fishing stuff - hook, eye, bobbin..........

Anyway, I am sure I will be sewing you each something "interesting" for christmas - Love you all.


Sunday, April 8, 2007

Our Hamster came out of the closet!!!! + Easter

Happy Easter to all.

Well, the same night we bought a new hamster (more like a miniature ginnea pig) and threw out the old cage......... guess who blessed us with his little spirit............. CHUBBS our dwarf hamster. So he is not dead after all although I am sure his 5 days of freedom could make for a great "Stuart Little" movie.

Apparently Chubbs had gotten into some bedding that was on the floor and collected some food he had thoughtfully stewn on the floor before his escape into the back of Mallory's closet.

So... in the middle of the night Ron had to go buy another cage......... the next day - he yet again escaped......... Guess where we found him - in his condo in the closet..........

So now we have 2 hamsters - one a magical escape artist and the other looks like the giant hamster that will take over the house at any time... damn he's ugly........

EASTER - The day when we wait for a giant bunny to hide eggs - how was this connected to Jesus' ressurection???????

Well we awoke this easter to a fabulous winter storm of which the weather men stated would only be a "dusting"......... We thought it was christmas so we contemplated pulling out the christmas tree and decorating it with easter eggs......

We had a nice time celebrating Easter with the family that could make it......... we did not barbeque hamburgers and hotdogs but my mother saved the day with a ham and so far nobody got sick from it.

The boys spent much time out in the garage staring at the garage princess (Ron's full size toy truck) that looks the same as it did last year, but hey boys are slow right...

It was a great day!! Happy Easter

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Mini Vacation and Dead Hamsters

Wow - what a great weekend.

It started on Friday when I was preparing to leave the house to take Amber my sister in law Shelly and her two kiddos on vacation to Colorado Springs. I went to make sure Mallory's Hamster Chubbs had food. He wasn't in his cage. I called Mallory who was with my brother Zach, Zach says that Mallory saw a mouse in her room and went and got the cat to catch it...... We now know - Mallory "sicked" the cat on the hamster (by accident)................ oops, the cat ate the hamster.

So I leave for the Springs we go to the hotel and have fun eating dinner and swimming in the pool. Saturday morning I go out to the car and start it................... my high tech car says "STOP ENGINE IMMEDIATELY COOLANT PROBLEM"................ Crap......

So I call around looking for a rental car, a repair shop or a priest....... my husband Ron is in Las Vegas and I don't want to bother him with any problems... I finally got hold of a Midas repair shop and they said it is OK to drive it across the street to their shop as long as it isn't overheating. I call my credit card company to see how much money I have available just in case it costs a lot.......... $3,500 should cover it right??

I drive it over, it will be 2 hours to change the oil and check the radiator..... we walk to a Villiage Inn to eat breakfast and plan to go rent a car for the remainder of our trip....... after breakfast we are walking back toward Midas and they call to tell me the car is ready and it was low on coolant, I paid my $60 and was off to continue my mini-vacation. GREAT!

We went to Cave of the Winds (VERY COOL)! We went to go see the movie Meet the Robinson's - I would like to tell you how it was but I think I fell asleep.

Today we went to Garden of the Gods and it was beautiful, if you haven't been there....... you should go!!

Now I am home waiting to go to work for the night............

Love you all!!!!

Friday, March 23, 2007

TO All of my friends

Not in order of importance of course:

Ellen - you are an amazing person with so much love and strength. You really are a woman to be admired with all you are going through - you are resilient - I love that about you!

Misty - you are the woman of all women, working so hard in law school and making it look easy - that is what olympians do - make the impossible look easy. You are a courageous woman with so much talent. I love you girl!!

Carrie - You are so much a part of my thoughts. You are intelligent, beautiful and a fabulous friend - I love your sense of humor and your ability to be strong. You are incredible!

Marilyn - You are such a great lady! I enjoy your antics about work and marriage (or lack of it). I appreciate you "taking care of me" when there were times no one else could.

Juliet - I really enjoyed working with you, you are so funny - I was happy that you found your true love. I enjoy our fun times at dinner and just being girls.

Leah - Although I don't know you well, I do know that you are strong, funny and have a fabulous sense of humor - Love that!!

Marlaine - Holy moly - you are one great lady, you have so much compassion (even though you are from New York) and you really connect with kids. I know you are making a huge difference in the lives of many - including mine. Your man is one lucky guy...... Good luck with the wedding plans.

Ami - I love the way you cut my hair, hold it out of the toilet when I drink too much (the good old days) and give me a good friend to sling my "crap" at when I am mad. I also enjoy your attempts to teach me to cook and keep me from accidentally killing my family.

Melody - You are a great person to have in my family. You are supportive and kind, but learning to stand up for yourself and what you want. That is huge! You are resilient and wonderful. Love you lots.

Julia & Dano - Oh my the memories, my teenage years were definately interesting but I cannot imagine how different (awful) they would have been without you. Wow - things can change. I think you could qualify for mother of the year, I am really impressed with Sara she is lucky to have parents like you an Dano. Keep up the good work... See you on easter.

Rich & Beth - You have a beautiful family and a great home. I really enjoy laughing with you on the holidays. See you at Easter. Beth - I think it is awesome how much you like motorcycles - I wish I was courageous enough to ride one - but lets face it, I can't even ride a bicycle.

Adrienne - You are hilarious. You are so down to earth, honest and a darn good friend. We don't see each other enough but that's ok - friends are forever no matter how often you see them. You should get Artist of the year.

Daddeo - I really love our talks and listening to your political views. I enjoy our building a bridge over the muddy water of the past. Can't wait to see you again.

Momma Jen - You are such a beautiful lady. Thanks for you laughs and good times. Sorry I always cook salmon.. It is the only recipe I know that doesn't send people to the hospital.

Shelly - I am so happy to have you as my sister (in law) you make me laugh and I enjoy hanging out with you and Chris and the girls. I also love the fact that only you can cure my migraines. Maybe I should call you Dr. Dominy.

Momma Sandy - I can't tell you how much I enjoyed being boiled, baked and beaten with you at the salon. You always give the greatest gifts. I enjoy laughing and playing Wii with you and Mark. I also appreciate all the food you cook; especially since you don't expect me to cook well for you. Thank you for your son!

Cindy - Oh my..... you make me laugh. You are a funny sister, a courageous sister and a good sister. I look forward to many more years of giggles and antique shopping. Love you sis!

Angie - How could I ever repay you for being you! The years of you teaching me to smoke (BURP) and the fun talks. Thanks for sharing your dad with me. We will always be sista's.

Ron - Wow babe - you are the most incredible man. I love the way you love the girls like your own. Love me unconditionally (Since I am far from the "perfect" wife). You accept my quarks and my sleeping habits. You are my rock babe. I love you so much - for ever and ever!!

Dana - I really enjoy having such a cool neighbor - you guys are a great model for good parents, good neighbors and well - DAMN good people. I am looking forward to a summer of fun hanging out with the kids in the cul de sac. Thank for always being willing to loan us weird food items.... It amazes me how you bought the house next door and we have a connection from the past. You are great peoples!!

I really love you all - thanks for being part of my life!!!!!!!!!

What makes us grumpy

Ok so after more than $50,000 in education in psychology you would think I could figure out why there are times people are just grumpy....

I realized that it is generally my own "stuff" that causes grumpiness. For example, I take the girls to the store and I am in a great mood - I can't wait to re-stock the house with food that didn't expire before my birth. Well, by the end of the trip I am pissed off and really hating life - ALL IN LESS THAN AN HOUR my outlook on life went from great to get me the hell out of here!!

I decided to reflect on my feeling (sorry - I will stop the annoying counselor talk) so I came home and rethought the previous hour. Here is what sent me from great to pissed off in 1 hour flat:

4:30pm - Arrive at the store (Daughter driving, can't park without someone dying so she parks as far out in the parking lot as possible). I tripped over a littered cup on the way in the door, of course quickly scanning to see if anyone was laughing at me.

4:31pm - Get into the store and go to get a shopping cart (They are all stuck to each other like a puzzle - this has got to be a joke) I finally wrestle one free and there is some form of substance (most likely snot from the previous child chewing on the bar). I go to grab one of the nice "free" disinfectant wipes the store offers and the bottle is empty. So I wipe the mysterious snot on my pants EWE!!

4:35pm - We enter the actual store and immediately Amber is asking how much money I have in my pocket because she wants something out of those stupid $0.50 vending machines. I have exactly 50 cents, give it to her, the machine eats one of the quarters and now I have to listen to her whine because she didn't get anything. This is a conspiracy by the store since now I have to buy her a toy or something.

4:37pm - Amber is now off and running with the "can I have this', "mom, you have to see this isn't it cool, "mom, can we buy a drink" OK - so I gave into the can I buy a drink bit. So Amber picks up what she calls "SOAP" which is actually "SOBE", I don't pay any attention, she opens it and starts drinking it. No big deal right.... OK until I actually look at it and it is a HIGH ENERGY DRINK......... OH CRAP!!!!! So less than 10 minutes later Amber is running, jumping and screaming "MOM COME LOOK AT THIS - CAN I HAVE THIS, PPPPPLLLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEE???????

4:47pm - I am starting to lose my mind, Mallory disappeared into the make-up isle which I know will only make the grocery bill go up about an extra hundred bucks.... I am not sure where Amber is but I can only imagine that she is in the bakery taste testing anything not glued shut.

5:15pm - The cart is full of make-up (From Mallory) and junk food (From Amber), my hair is standing straight up and I am looking for the beer isle - I don't drink but I am considering the temporary habit to get me through this damn shopping trip.

5:20pm - I receive the items I sent Mallory to get while I got coffee. Mallory was asked to get "meat" I guess I should have been more specific because I didn't notice her put 2 packages of STEAK, a package of Salmon, some shrimp and a couple of filet mignon's in the cart.

5:30pm - We are in line and Mallory is filling the cart with magazines from the rack (all consisting of the same crap - BRITNEY SPEARS IS BALD. I try to ignore her as I am watching the amount of my grocery bill in shock. Amber is sneaking candy and gum onto the conveyer belt and I am choosing to ignore it.

5:30 and 30 seconds - Oh my god!! My grocery bill just reached $330.00......... I pay less than that a month to drive my Volvo...... I pay and leave the store, get in the car after an argument with Mallory that I wanted to drive because it is my car, I am her mother and I need to get home fast. Her response was "I can drive just as fast as you mom" - - that isn't comforting coming from a teenager.

So there it is- my reflection on why I was SO pissed off when I got home, put the groceries away and realized that we were going to have to eat the following: Gum, Candy, Magazines and make-u[ because the only other stuff we got was steak, shrimp and fish..... I guess we are now on the atkins diet because all we have is meat.


Friday, March 16, 2007

Day 2 - Blog

Sunday - Well par for my life, my husband Ron is home cooking and caring for the kids and I am sitting in a class clear across town learning about counseling children and adolescents. Wow - I couldn't have found a better wife (Ron).

I have some friends that have offered me some much needed cooking lessons in hopes of keeping my family out of the emergency room on my nights to cook. Kuddos to my dedicated pals!! I also owe a shout out to my friends Carrie and Marilyn - Happy Birthday ladies - I miss ya lots!!

Just a thought for parents - has anyone ever died from having a dirty bedroom or not making their bed?

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Keeping in Touch

OK so I decided to join the decade and begin a blog since most of the communication in our group is now done this way.

Wow - things are tough for lots of people right now. You are ALL in my thoughts!!!!!

Things are going well - Amber spent the evening playing with handcuffs and a toy gun from my play therapy bag (Can you say someone needs some therapy). I finally had to stop the madness when she was shooting sticky darts at the cat....

OH My - a day in the life of a parent with a child that has issues.

Mallory is doing better at driving - we no longer need to wear helmets and neck-braces in the car.... there is hope.

Ron has been doing volunteer work for the elementary school (shhhh he doesn't want everyone to know). He is so awesome - we are coming up on our 5-12 year anniversary (5 officially, 12 illegally) you know what I mean...

Anyway - my love to all.