This site is dedicated to my ever loving bratty children, my tolerant husband and well to my friends who support me in so many ways even when we don't speak for years. Cheers - to the beautiful and not so beautiful passings in our lives. In other words - those moments when life is painful and all you can do is laugh until you cry (or pee)!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Things are very different - but great!!

OK - so it has been a while since blogging because things are hoppin! Here is the update:

The family - We have been having a fantastic time with the kids - we got an annual pass to the recreation center that has a huge pool and a great slide and diving boards. We are having a blast - Mallory and I are even working out while Ron, Tyler and Amber swim. We have been doing science projects at home as a family (not just the ones in the fridge). We have been growing crystals and planting an indoor garden. We also are amazed by our wonderful neighbors that feel like a second family. We do dinners together and frequently have cul-de-sac get-togethers that are just a blast. We feel so fortunate to be surrounded by such great people.

Mallory - She is meeting with her tutors this week, working hard on homework to pass the semester. She has her work cut out for her, but I am proud of her valiant efforts (without complaints). She is enjoying swimming as well - she does need a new swimsuit though - she has lost her top off of the diving board and her bottoms are practically see through... A couple of days a week she is working for my sister and brother in law - trying to save money to buy her own car since we have to sell hers to pay her medical bills. We would not be surviving this without them. They are such positive people and really have embraced the best of Mallory.

Amber - Amber is addicted to the water slide at the pool! It took 5 trips to the pool to get her to try it. Ron has an amazing relationship with her and has encouraged her to do some scary things (the water slide). AMBER EVEN JUMPED OFF THE DIVING BOARD! This is the kid that won't even ride a bike because it is too scary... Amber is blooming into a great little gal - she is excited to start volleyball again this season, swimming 3+ times per week, field trips every Friday this summer at camp and more.

Tyler - WOW! He is doing so well at school we couldn't be more proud. He plays outside with Amber everyday and has been enjoying his new motorized scooter. He is even attending school when he doesn't have to for extra credit. He did burn his arm in auto shop today on a motor - but he is fine. He amazes us every time he does his chores without being told, homework without being asked and just being a great kid all the way around.

Ron - Again WOW! I feel so fortunate to have Ron, he has embraced the kids like a Dad should. He is there to encourage them to do scary things, take them to appointments and love them in general. He is working a lot and keeping the house together while I am gone.

Me - I am in the middle of my statistics class, doing my internship which is going very well and work which is crazier than ever (of course - it is a mental hospital, so I guess it is normal.)

All in all - life is good amidst chaos...

Love you all!!

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Overwhelmed with Joy, Thanks and what now?

First and foremost - we would like to extend our heartfelt thank you to each and every one of you. We have not had time to call and personally talk with each of you - but given the time you are all on our list. We are so overwhelmed by the amount of help and support has been offered - it is amazing; we feel so fortunate.

In our time of need - our support system was shown and we still cannot believe the amount of love and kindness in the world from our closest friends, our extended family and even people we barely know. I found one supportive lady at the laundrymat when I was washing 24 loads of Mallory's clothes before she came home. Strange how good people show up out of nowhere when we need them.

Mallory is home and adjusting to her restrictions. She has been surprised at everything that is gone from her room, after we removed everything goth, dark, reference to suicide, reference to depression or just inappropriate in general - there wasn't much. We are asking ourselves why we allowed all of it to begin with... Unknowingly assisting her in slipping to what she calls the dark side.

We have decided with Amber that pink and yellow are the only colors allowed :)

Ron has arranged to work partially from home and his sister has been very kind in offering to hire Mallory part-time during the day to keep her occupied, supervised and allow her to save for a car, since Ron and I are selling hers to pay the medical bills.

We have had other rough developments that I will explain later in regards to Barry - tragic mistakes can lead to a lifetime of consequences...

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Oh my God we love her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even rolling her eyes she is cute!!!

Recovery and Thanks

To all that have shown us love and support:

We cannot thank everyone enough for:
  • The love and kindness
  • The understanding without judgment
  • The meals and hugs
  • The babysitting & helping Amber and Tyler understand that we didn't all desert them
  • The kind comments that made us feel not alone

Things we appreciate and tend to get short tempered about (Not meant to sound bitchy):
  • People not saying "it was a cry for help" because it wasn't - she was ready to die...
  • People not telling us that her liver will heal - because it can't... this is progressive damage
  • Advice, right now we are following the professionals advice as they have dealt and learned from thousands of adolescents, if that doesn't work we will ask for advice...
  • People not saying that it was "just" pot - she has an uncontrollable addiction that led her to feel depressed and hopeless. If it wasn't pot it would have been something else. She has been putting the "pot band aid" on her wounds of depression.

In our world of hopeless health insurance they will not approve Mallory going into the 8 week residential treatment until (unless) she "fails" at intensive outpatient therapy - hopefully this time it will not end with additional permanent damage or death.

Mallory's restrictions when she comes home as set by her Doctor and Social Worker:
  • No cell phone (for at least 6 months and even then; no texting)
  • No Computer access without a parent actually watching (no MySpace, Facebook etc.)
  • No friends over without parents in the room
  • No phone calls without parents in the room
  • She cannot leave the house without parents or be left anywhere without sober responsible adults.
She cannot go to school - she will not pass this semester and will have to take online courses and will be transferring to a high school with 161 students next year.

Mallorys treatment:
Mallory will go to Individual Therapy for 1 hour per week
Mallory will get 6 hours of Substance Abuse Treatment per week
Mallory will get 3 hours per week of Family Substance Abuse Treatment per week
Mallory will have random UA's and BA's to monitor her sobriety

And all of this will take place in Louisville Colorado (Over an hour away from home).

How do we plan to manage all of this? Ron is asking work if he can work from home for 12 weeks. Family and friends are working toward having Mallory stay with them during the day here and there (She can work for free and be helpful around the house...), Her Dad is also willing to take her to work with him (unless it is at a construction site-for god sakes).

Mallory's car will be sold to pay all of the medical bills which are already mounting. Not counting her upcoming treatment which will cost approximately $1,000+ per month.

Life as we knew it will be much different now - but if it saves our baby's life - it is worth more than anything in this world. Oh - and as we said everything has changed we even shaved her cat!!

We look forward to Mallory's progression and will never seek to find perfection...

We love you all!

Coni, Ron, Mallory, Amber, Tyler and Barry