Awaiting the sadness of a beautiful passing....

Death is but a peaceful, beautiful passing an adventurous journey. Death brings peace and rids pain. Death is sad for those who feel left behind and relief for those who can't stay here any longer.

I know that my grandpa has made peace with the death and he is ready to travel on; however that doesn't make me any less sad to see him go... I can tell myself that "it is meant to be" "He will no longer be in pain" "this is what he wants" "he lived a fulfilling life" etc. But the deep sadness and loss doesn't go away. I didn't expect this to be this hard.

My grandfather is such an amazing man and I realize that life tends to get in the way of spending time with our elders... Hindsight is always 20/20 and it is always too late before we stop and reflect on the lack of time we make in our lives for those important to us.

"Time is precious" "You don't know what you have until it's gone" "Live for today, not tomorrow" - such stupid cliches each with such important meaning..... We hear these things so often that we forget why they are said in the first place.

My grandpa is stubborn and even in his adventure to death will not go easily. The hospice doesn't know how or why he is still alive. His pupils are now fixed and his body shutting down, but they have no idea why it is taking so long - I know why - Grandpa is always trying to surprise people and he is stubborn.

I have said my peace and so have Ron and the girls - but I know that once he has finally left us I will no doubt cry simply because the possibility of seeing him here on earth is no longer here.

I am thankful that he lived long enough for the girls to remember him. It is a sad struggle for Amber that she was so young when her grandpa Dave died. Memories are such an important part of life.

The other awakening for me is seeing a hospice/nursing home, so many sad faces, so many people that at one point were just like us - living life, raising kids, working jobs etc. I looked around and wondered - why aren't there more people visiting these folks... I wish that I could just go there and spend time with whomever is lonely... I also have a fear that someday it will be me, sitting alone in a wheelchair - desperately awaiting a visitor that doesn't come...